I Just Want You to Hear Me
by Tragic Alchemy
Summary: Songfic to "My Immortal" by Evanescence. After Edward leaves Bella to fend for herself in this enormous, lonely world, Bella scrounges up enough courage to confront her painful memory of him with the help of a simple song.


Author's Note: I've been very irresponsible lately and have blown off all my other fanfic projects, namely "Tears of the Alche

Author's Note: I've been very irresponsible lately and have blown off all my other fanfic projects, namely "Tears of the Alchemist" and "Inheritance," but hopefully I will find the motivation to pick up where those left off. In the midst of struggling with the event called life, I decided to attempt some Twilight fanfiction. This will be my first with these characters, so give me a chance. Read and review! Much love!!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the brilliant mastermind behind Twilight, not me. I do not own the story or any of its characters, although I wouldn't mind owning Edward Cullen. Hehe. The song also does not belong to me. Evanescence owns it fair and square!

Setting: Takes place post chapter "The End" of New Moon.

Song: "My Immortal" by Evanescence

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I Just Want You to Hear Me

Bella clung to the steering wheel of her aged truck as her eyes scanned the side of the road for the tricky turnoff that always seemed to catch her off-guard. She could feel her hands beginning to shake, and so she tightened her grip, making her knuckles glow with white. Her dark hair framed her tired face so perfectly, but her eyes were that of an expressionless corpse: blank. But the lifeless eyes continued to search for her desired trail. Soon enough, she spotted it and made a wide turn onto the lonely path.

'What the hell am I doing?' she questioned as her truck continued to slowly make its way along the lone trail. Her breathing became uneven the longer she drove, but she wasn't going to give up. There was a desperate longing within her that wouldn't rest until she tried. The agonized groan of the truck sounded as she advanced to the one place she thought she would never find herself again.

'I don't remember it being this far… maybe I really AM insane…' she thought to herself as she continued to crawl past overgrown greenery. That's when her truck pulled through a final framework of green into a clearing. She winced as the truck rolled to a stop. Taking one more breath she looked up to see the house… _his _house.

The Cullen home had once been an incredible sight, full of comfort and well-being. Now as Bella studied it, it only showed loneliness and abandonment.

"I know how you feel," she barely whispered to the lifeless home, killing the engine.

She didn't want to spend anymore time here than was necessary, so she snatched the battery powered CD player that sat upon the passenger-side seat and jumped out of the truck, slamming the door shut behind her. She paused only for a moment to check the CD player, making sure her designated CD was firmly within it.

She quickly brushed her hair away from her face and advanced slowly toward the house. Her hand sprung to her chest when her heart began to race with anxiety. It had surprised her, for she was unaware her heart was still there.

When she reached the front door, she raised her hand to knock, but stopped before her fist could make contact. She shook her head and dropped her hand to her side.

'Who am I kidding?' she mentally asked herself.

After standing there for a moment that seemed like a lifetime, she sighed in annoyance and placed her hand upon the doorknob and turned with a doubtful expression on her face. To her surprise, it was unlocked. She raised her eyebrows in confusion. She didn't expect for it to be unlocked. She figured that she would deliver her so-called performance merely on the front doorstep, but inside? She toyed with the idea and decided that it was worth a shot, no matter how painful it would be.

She pushed the door open and welcomed herself inside. She refused to look around at first, afraid at what she might see. She wasn't sure what was worse: seeing everything as if nothing had happened, or seeing this once magical place entirely empty. She knew exactly where she wanted to go, so she wasted no time making her way to the room with Edward's piano.

Her eyes on her feet only, Bella navigated her way through the house relying solely on the blueprint of the house that she had committed to memory. Counting her steps carefully, she came upon the exact spot of the piano. She cringed as she looked up.

There it sat. She choked back a tearless, inaudible sob as her eyes rested upon it.

'How could he? How could he just leave this here?' she thought to herself. She continued to fight with herself as she unwillingly glanced around the room.

She didn't know what to make of it… not everything was gone, but not everything was there. Within her general vicinity, the only possession of the Cullens that was left behind was Edward's beloved piano. Out of curiosity, she took a few steps toward the next room. She discovered that it, too, had been picked over, much like the clearance rack at a bargain store.

She shook her head, not knowing how to react, and found her way pack to the piano, CD player still in hand. She gently placed the CD player upon the piano and made sure that it was ready to play after flipping the power switch on. She pulled a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear and cleared her throat.

"Edward," she said aloud, startled by her own voice and pained at the sound of his name. She cleared her throat once more, determined to try again.

"Edward… I, uh… I don't know if this is really worth it, but…" she trailed off. She rolled her eyes at herself, feeling like a lunatic.

"They oughta lock me up in a crazy house for sure," she said matter-of-factly.

"Here I am trying to talk to someone that I'm certain can't hear me…" she went thoughtful for a moment, an emotion that quickly turned into hopeful.

"Anyway… I just want to talk for a moment before I do what I came here to do. Then I'll leave. I promise." She took a deep breath before beginning again. "You see… there's this song. It's a song that I tried to avoid, but it always seemed to find me," she continued to speak into nothingness, her eyes glancing everywhere around the room.

"If there was a song for me to write after all this, this one would be that song. It seems like all I want to say has been condensed into this single song. So… I brought a recording of it, and bear with me, but I'm going to sing along to it…" Bella rolled her eyes at herself.

"Yeah, I know… I couldn't sing a song to save my life. I don't even think I sing in the shower, but Edward, this is important to me." She paused and thought for a moment.

"I just want you to hear me…" She could feel herself already falling apart, and she questioned whether or not she could go through with it. She held back another series of tearless sobs.

"I just want you to hear me," she repeated after she had regained her composure.

She hovered one trembling finger over the play button. After a brief hesitation and another deep breath, she lowered her finger, pressing the play button.

The sound of the recorded piano filled the room. Bella allowed a quick glance at Edward's piano as the CD played and wished that the music was coming from its ivory white keys and flowing from _his_ gentle, cold fingers instead. She shook her head, refusing to dwell on the thought. She hated making herself feel like this.

'I've just got to get through this song,' she thought to herself. 'Then I can leave this place for good…'

**"I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my childish fears**

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**'Cause your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone…"**

She sang along with the music, feeling every word. As the lyrics slipped from her lips she slowly looked around the room.

'Of course his presence still lingers here,' she quickly thought, a bit frustrated with herself. 'This is _his_ house, why wouldn't it? Ugh, I'm really asking for it, aren't I?'

**"These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase…"**

With this part of the song, her hand somehow found its way to her chest, clutching the area that belonged to her heart, or what was left of it.

**"When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hands through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me…"**

'Okay, so we weren't together for _years_, but still…' her mind began to wander again.

**"You used to captivate me**

**By your resonating light**

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

**Your face it haunts**

**My once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice it chased away**

**All of the sanity in me…"**

This verse struck Bella with excruciating force. Her knees nearly buckled beneath her, and she clung to Edward's beautiful piano for support. She had to gasp for air to continue the song.

**"These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase…"**

Tears began to sting her eyes, but she blinked them back. 'Not yet,' she mentally told herself.

**"When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hands through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me…"**

She lowered herself to the floor and kneeled upon it. She wrapped her arms around herself and dug her fingers into her tender shoulders, feeling the empty abyss growl within her.

**"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along…"**

She couldn't hold it in any longer. The salty tears that had spent the last part of the song teasing her now flowed freely down her face. Her voice cracked in uncontrollable sobs and she slammed her fists into the floor. The song continued, but she couldn't hear it over the sound of her own agony.

The throbbing hurt that overwhelmed her quickly turned into intense anger. The enraged tears seem to spill over at a quicker rate, and her hands trembled in resentment.

'I cannot believe him!' she mentally screamed to herself. 'How could he?! How could he do this to ME?!'

**"When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hands through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me…"**

The tempo slowed up to the last bar of remaining music. Once the song had finished, Bella sat silent and motionless on the floor beside the piano. Her tear-stained face was flushed with pain; the only color upon her skin was the crimson red that surrounded her sore and tired eyes. She continued to sit as she tried to steady her breathing.

'Get ahold of yourself, Bella,' she thought to herself as the silence of the Cullen home deafened her.

She cleared her throat once more and stood, her knees still shaking with uneasiness. She carefully lifted the CD player from its resting spot upon the piano, switching it off in the process. She turned her gaze to her feet, and found her way to the front door the same way she had entered the house without even the slightest of glances around her.

Once she reached the door, she reached for the doorknob without hesitation, let herself out, and then pulled it securely shut behind her. She watched her feet, not wanting to make a dramatic fall after what she had considered a successful attempt at a goodbye.

When she came to her truck, she forcibly swung the door open and threw the CD player into it, two random pieces flying from it at the brutal action. She didn't even take the time to shrug it off as she hopped up into her truck and turned the key in the ignition. Her truck roared to life. It sounded incredibly angry, and Bella liked it.

She whirled the wheel around, quickly returning to the trail leading off of the Cullen property. She sighed as the distance between her and the house increased, not even feeling the slightest urge to peek at the rearview mirror.


End file.
